The Plight of Single Black Women in the West: Colorism and Systemic Racism in the Choice of Romantic Partners

The Internalization of Self-Hatred and Racial Hierarchy

From a young age, Black and mixed-race children internalize self-hatred, while non-Black children develop a racial superiority complex. This dynamic, reinforced by subliminal messages in the media and racial stereotypes, influences the romantic choices of adults, creating a phenomenon where Black women are often considered a "second choice." Even within Black communities, colorism means that darker-skinned Black women are often excluded from idealized beauty representations, with lighter-skinned women being favored.

Racism and the Sexualization of Black Women

Another dimension of the rejection of Black women is how they are hypersexualized in romantic relationships. In Western societies, Black women, particularly those with darker skin, are often viewed through the lens of sexuality, seen as fantasies rather than serious partners. Many men, both Black and non-Black, approach them with racist intentions, reducing them to objects of desire, without recognition of their humanity or value beyond their sexual appeal.

This phenomenon is not limited to face-to-face social interactions but is also visible on dating apps, where Black women are often confronted with degrading comments. They receive racially charged messages, such as remarks about their "exoticism" or "fantasy body," but are consistently rejected for serious relationships. For instance, many dating profiles clearly display racial preferences, with men stating they do not wish to meet Black women or expressing judgments based on racial stereotypes.

The Double Jeopardy: Social Rejection and Marginalization in Relationships

Black women in the West suffer a double jeopardy: on one hand, they are marginalized due to their skin color, and on the other, they are often reduced to racial stereotypes, either explicitly or implicitly. This creates a dynamic where Black women find themselves excluded from serious romantic relationships, often rejected for reasons related to skin color or racial stereotypes, while lighter-skinned women are seen as more desirable. This rejection phenomenon repeats itself across society, from schools to professional environments, and extends into intimate relationships.

Black Women on Dating Sites: A Space for Discrimination

Dating sites, which are supposed to offer opportunities for love and genuine relationships, are unfortunately often spaces where Black women face open discrimination. Many Black women report experiences where they are either ignored or approached with racist and demeaning remarks. Phrases like "I don’t date Black women" or comments on their "exoticism" and "fantasy bodies" are common. As a result, Black women often struggle to find partners interested in authentic and lasting relationships.

Conclusion: Breaking the Chains of Racism and Colorism

Racism and colorism in romantic relationships deeply affect the self-esteem of Black women in the West. This phenomenon reflects systemic racism present in society, where Black women, especially those with darker skin, are marginalized and rejected not only in society but also in intimate spheres. To overcome this scourge, it is essential to promote positive images of Black women, combat colorism, and encourage relationships based on love, respect, and equality, free from the influence of racial stereotypes.